The Hallmark Movie Has Begun… Will It Turn Into a Shudder Movie… STAY TUNED! 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

What the hell am I going on about now?

THE ANSWER

We GOT AN ACCEPTED OFFER ON A HOUSE THIS WEEK!

So I’ve talked about how I’m relentless/resilient… something terrible happens and I just keep going and act like it was nothing.

Just keep going… don’t let anyone get an edge on you… stay upright… narrow your eyes… and keep going so you’re ready for the next blow.

Yeah, that’s not a super happy or optimistic way to live life but… thirteen years into this crazy ⚡️ life ⚡️ and I started to develop an effective survival strategy of “Be Relentless”.

Consequently, I don’t want to get too excited about this happy turn of events. I mean, I don’t feel like I would fit in a Hallmark movie. I don’t have the right clothes or tolerance for that.

But… I’m allowing myself to feel a little squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

… just a little…

What the Fuck House Are You Buying?!

This house. Oh look… it’s contingent.

We did that.

It’s been two years of looking. Well, we couldn’t buy a house two years ago but that didn’t stop us from meeting with our lender to ask if there was a way.

So we’ve been hunting – at least mentally – for a house for years while living in a neighborhood known for sex trafficking and Federally-implemented gun/drug busts.

And, at long last, it almost looks like we will be moving. JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS.

Our new house is located in my favorite Milwaukee neighborhood (Riverwest).

When I first started dating my husband, he had an arts studio in Riverwest where he taught painting.

Meanwhile, I spent a lot of time at a Riverwest punk coffee place called Fuel. I went there in high school and felt very cool though I always went by myself and sort of clung to the wall if it wasn’t already occupied with other clingers.

I just hung there from the wall, feeling terrified/excited and enjoying the sites without exhibiting any kind of emotional expression whatsoever.

Punks of all sizes and varieties. Bad coffee, lousy service, vegan food.

It was heaven.

I am pretty sure Fuel the OG location is closed now because heavens rarely last.

But buying a little house in in Riverwest is nice because it’s one of the few neighborhoods in Milwaukee I don’t hate.

And it’s also like full circle for the David and I.

And I hadn’t thought we could buy a house in Riverwest as the available ones seemed to be either a duplex or $400K.

But the little house we plan to be living in by Christmas is unique and adorable and most definitely in Riverwest.

When standing behind the house, it looks like a fort.

It even has a tree. I’m pretty sure that tree has a lot of branches which are all hanging over the neighbor’s house but WHATEVER.

The house next door is for sale too so we’re trying to get friends to move in and so when the tree crashes down upon their house we can work that out without lawyers.

I have no idea how we’re going to fit our stuff in this house as it’s smaller than our current apartment…

Side note: I didn’t use to have stuff but then my parents died and now I have a piano and large, heavy, furniture and a couple boxes of shit I simply can’t dispose of yet.

… BUT it’s fun to have to get strategic.

I may have my idealized music listening room!!! It seems to have been used as a changing room for the last owners but… I’m looking at wallpaper and feel pretty sure I can fit both my inherited writing desk and piano.

If we get to the stage of Final Walk-Through… we will be taking some serious room measurements. If the desk and piano fit into this little room, the walls will have this wallpaper which I cannot afford:

I like this wall paper SO much I ordered a sample (I have never before ordered a sample of wallpaper I may squirm my way into a Hallmark movie after all) which I will tape to the middle of the wall as I can’t afford to order more.

Or maybe I can get one of my witch-friends to make that small square sample of wallpaper… bigger…

And THAT is where the Hallmark movie turns into a Shudder movie.

This house was built in 1892 which is pretty old for Wisconsin.

But it feels like a new build because of how it was apparently rebuilt from the studs at some point (1990s).

All the appliances are so new they hurt my eyes.

An interesting thing is how the house has been sold quite often or, specifically, around every two-four-seven years:

First listed in 1996, listed/sold in 2000, listed/sold in 2004, then 2012, then 2019 and now… 2021.

HOW LONG WILL WE OWN IT????? 😻

Our realtor’s colleague said she herself has sold that/our house a few times. She said that the house always seems to sell to artists and it’s often nothing more than a stopping point for them.

Either a first home or just a place to be for a short time while in Milwaukee.

That’s nice. An artist safe haven.

Or…

THE HOUSE IS CRAZY HAUNTED AND THESE ARTISTS JUST CANT STAND TO STAY THERE ANY LONGER????????

I hope not but we will see!

There is still the chance we will have our non-haunted Hallmark Christmas.

My close friend simply sent me a link to a dog adoption website when I told her our offer had been accepted.

YES. A DOG FOR CHRISTMAS TOO.

It’s almost too much.

We sign some more paperwork via email tonight! Woohoo! When we bought our other house — THE ONE WHICH I DISCUSS IN A BOOK, AN EBOOK AND AN AUDIO BOOK RIGHT NOW AVAILABLE — I feel we had to sign more things using pens and paper.

But I am from the past.

Thanks for reading and a special thanks to the readers who have provided so much support throughout the rather hellish couple years of living here in sex-worker-gunshot land.

Thank you! May you also Check Inn to Christmas! 😬

🖤