I Hate Jessica Fletcher

Does anyone remember that old 80s show Murder She Wrote? “Jessica Fletcher”? Just the sight of her upsets me. If someone died every time I left my house, I would start to worry about my effect on people even more than I already do. Every place that woman goes, someone ends up dying. No one seems to think that’s strange.

But, fine, someone dies every time she leaves her house. Okay. But then she manages to worm her way into the police investigation. As if they gave a shit about some old white woman’s opinion. She’s a fucking murder mystery writer for blood’s sake. And yet, every time, some member of the police force gags out in delight and honor that Jessica Fletcher is nosing around their crime scene.

And every time they end up asking her to help them with the case, as if she knows anything about real life. Oh wait, she probably does pick up some knowledge because someone fucking dies every time she goes anywhere.

I mean, if Agatha Christie or Stephen King wandered around a crime scene – even a crime of passion – I’m sure the police would not be welcoming. Most of them probably wouldn’t even know who these authors were beyond Unwelcome. They’d just know some nosy civilians were trespassing on their crime scene and they’d likely arrest them for getting in the fucking way.

In fact, I’m amazed at how every cop seems to know who Mrs. Fletcher is, even on the international stage. Some of the cops on the show didn’t really seem to be “book people”, so it’s strange that they would be able to recognize any authors, even shitty mainstream murder mystery writers.

I suppose I just dislike her because she’s a know-it-all and lords it over everyone else. If she was a little less abrasive and acted a little less like a stereotype, I may not have such a problem. My grandma passionately disliked Rose of the Golden Girls which was a show I only watched when I was… staying with Gram. So maybe it is simply in my blood to dislike old white women on network TV.

And omfg I KNOW YOU LIKE THE GOLDEN GIRLS I AM SORRY MY HATE IS HEREDITARY

It’s pretty sad that I am so passionate about an old TV show. I have no ill will to Angela Lansbury as I realize a woman often has to take the roles she’s offered due to How It Is.

But when I turned on the TV to escape my frustration over my inability to continue thinking in a helpful way, and I saw Jessica Fletcher, because, during the day, the five channels in Scotland played old American TV programs, and mother loving JESSICA FLETCHER was staring back at me… I just lost it. And I was inspired to express this though I couldn’t write a sentence on anything I was supposed to be writing about at the time.

Very sad. If my parents had not watched Murder She Wrote every Sunday night when I was growing up, I maybe wouldn’t have built up all this emotion about it. I don’t remember the name of someone I can call in an emergency, but I remember when there was a special Murder She Wrote episode and Jessica Fletcher was in Paris. All this brain matter wasted.

I had hoped I could use this anger for good and get back to working. But I probably just started watching music videos for another fifteen minutes. I remember not ever watching TV in my early 20s.

It obviously does rot the brain.

5 thoughts on “I Hate Jessica Fletcher

  1. I love your blog and the message of wanting/hoping to help others like you. I “don’t” love that you deal with this though…never have. I hope this blog is also cathartic for you. I wrote something on Ancestry.com the other day but haven’t changed my settings to “public” yet but I will. I wrote “true” obituaries vs. the ones everyone else writes. I’ve always strongly disliked obituaries because they are full of lies and “hopes” of what the person was like but also truths. I guess everyone has their “own” version of what “their” obituary would be like based on their experiences with individuals. I already know what mine is going to say because I’m writing my own, lol. Anyway…I’m not worried about dying but…I LOVE your blog because you are such an EXCELLENT writer. What you write is very intriguing and interesting and painful. I realize you said you were angry writing this one but…it seriously made “me” laugh reading a lot of this because, although you had valid/strong points which weren’t funny, seriously…a lot was. I really cracked up when you wrote about everyone dying everywhere she goes…I use to think the same thing when I would watch this show. I was like…“everyone this woman goes…someone dies?! Stop going around her.” Anyway, I do love your blog but I haven’t read it all. You know sometimes people read stuff and they won’t like it because of the pain in it but…as I said regarding my kids…look at it as sending “love” but I did like this post. It seriously made me laugh this morning and yesterday when I saw the title “I hate Jessica Fletcher” I was like this is why I love Hillarie. All the blog post titles are really good and you just have a natural talent for writing and don’t say anything about the book you wrote because I have this feeling you are going to bring that up so don’t… Your style of writing is really intriguing and every time I read it or go to the page I’m just impressed and I think “she’s just so smart like REALLY intelligent” and creative. So…hope you have a good rest of the day and thank you for sharing your experiences yet hope and humor but not downplaying the seriousness of it all. Hope you are also able to sleep. Please tell David I said hello too and the same.

    Like

    1. Hahaha aw, thank you so much, K! I’m so glad you liked the Murder She Wrote post because… SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS UP WITH THAT WOMAN. Ahhhhhh yes. What a treat to wake up and hear from you. I’m so glad it made you laugh! And, yeah, laughter is a survival technique. I DON’T talk about how “at my end” I am with finding a job but this blogging has nicely occupied my mind for when I’m not applying, interviewing and being rejected. Sending so much love to you! I hope you’re able to read more and of course I’d like to read your ancestry post if you should make it public! I figure if things get really dire I’ll just put the book on Amazon because, if I’m dead, I REALLY won’t care what people think. 😂 Hope you’re staying safe and healthy in the midst of all this scary craziness!

      Like

  2. Edit: “everywhere” not “everyone”…. “everywhere this woman goes…someone dies?! Stop going around her!”

    Like

  3. Edit: “everywhere” not “everyone”…. “everywhere this woman goes…someone dies?! Stop going around her!”

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s