Well, I’m writing this on Sunday morning. Today I was woken by fireworks at 7 A.M. as they tend to start later on Sunday mornings which is appreciated.
Earlier, I woke at my unnaturally early “dawn time” and felt “hell no” because extra sleep time was needed as last night I was disproportionately exhausted because sunlight and wonderful human interaction apparently does this excitable vampire in.
Being now physically intolerant of both sun and other humans greatly alters my job-hunting.
And that’s exciting because I’ll start looking for third shift jobs as warehouse security which I haven’t yet done.
For years, I just ignored my body because it seemed excessively needy and unreasonable. Or this is how my mind has long felt which is, in physiological terms, inside my brain which is the part of my body which has repeatedly tried to electrocute me to death.
Well, arguably, the mind is distinct from the brain but what matters in this context is how my brain is really up in the rest of my body’s business and the littlest thing could shift its balance.
And this is unfair and ridiculous and neither life nor the universe care.
Consequently, in the last ten years, I have stopped completely ignoring my body and now cater to its whims.
If I don’t, I risk electrocution.
It’s like being trapped inside a drama queen with connections.
Yesterday at the sidewalk sale my husband David and I made sales as did everyone involved (hell, the Soup House who hosted us sold out of their frozen soup! Hot dog!)
It was not a huge physical turn-out but that is great because, here in America, we are winning the Worst at Handling the Global Pandemic contest.
to those who supported me virtually and to those who physically showed up!!!!!
I’ll get the virtual shop set up by the end of this week and will fill/be in contact about all previously placed orders by that time too.
I was a little wary about the sidewalk sale as I’d accompanied David on most of his pop-up art shows and had witnessed the sporadically terrible feedback he’d receive from random strangers.
“Wow! I’d love to get a look inside your head! It must be nuts in there!”
“That is really crazy. I worry about you.”
“Oh my. Our son just graduated from art school. We are so worried he won’t ever be able to make a living.” Then they check their Hublot Big Bang watches, don’t buy anything and walk away.
Engaging with the general public as a vendor is like dipping your brain in glue which has metal bits.
So having my crudely simple, slightly demented illustrations on display next to his artfully crafted paintings made me worry a little, especially when I saw two tan, well-dressed white women saunter up to our table.
I wasn’t in shape to hear the “What’s wrong with you” feedback.
Because I’d be all “How much time you got” or “I have a book you can buy.”
As these women glanced over the contents on our table, I thought for sure I’d receive a tight smile which said “I’m so glad you didn’t marry my son” but, instead, neither acknowledged me and they instead talked with David.
And he made a sale! And, as one of the women was paying for her purchase, she looked down at my illustrations, raised her eyebrows and…
bought Carlos, Space Monster.
Of all the illustrations, that’s the one that called to her.
As all this was going down, I’m pretty sure she thought David made all the art but I, as a change of pace, did not shout out “DO YOU KNOW THIS IS MINE?” and, rather, simply stayed quiet and enjoyed the moment.
They walked away, looking so put-together and composed, with the one openly carrying mother-loving Space Monster in her hand.
(We had forgotten the brown wrapping paper and bags).
In any case, it was a lovely day that physically destroyed me somehow so I tried to recover while I watched Nuke’s Top Five’s YouTube channel.
By doing so, I learned about TikTok’s Ripple Effect.
In other words, I learned what kids are doing these days.
Now there is absolutely no known science behind the TikTok smart phone app effect.
Besides economical science as people are batshit about ghost hunting these days so money money money money.
In short, the TikTok Reality Ripple effect is supposed to assign a 1970sish rainbow color swipe to living creatures which appear on the phone screen.
For instance, here is my troll foot being marked as “living.”
And, since, I’m often overcome by my cognitive estrangement
last night I downloaded TikTok as User(seven hundred numbers) only to get this Ripple Effect app.
I wanted to find housemates I wasn’t aware of before who could serve as quiet company or perhaps animate in an emergency.
Last night, I was physically exhausted but mentally restless.
Bored, in other words.
What’s especially mucked up is how I always say people shouldn’t go hunting for ghosts++. I mean, ghosts are dead or “elsewhere” and you’re here and now so… it seems to be asking for trouble and also pointless.
But, many of us are really bored, it seems.
Or depressed at the state of the world and looking to other realms to see how they’re all coping.
It’s like we’re in the Victorian era again.
The Victorian era was full of scammers and spiritualists.
THAT ghost above kind of looks like they’re dancing with the guy against his will and that’s exactly the sort of skull face I’m looking for.
I say all this as I spent last night walking around our apartment, waving my phone around with my TikTok effect filter, hoping to find someone.
In other words, asking for trouble.
But the effect often didn’t even register me as a living creature so that really didn’t help my state of mind.
“Yeah. You’re not alive enough to register.”
I mean, I do have terrible circulation.
In any case, I don’t give any credence to a TIKTOK EFFECT but… hee hee apparently the painting our Chicago friend Andy did of the British Queen is “alive.”
Queenie just won’t ever die.
Amused, this morning my husband sent a video he took of my phone with the TikTok effect (yeah, we’re super old) and sent it to Andy the artist and he was delighted.
He had created a haunted painting!
How fun. And now I have someone else to talk to as I walk into the bathroom or kitchen.
“Good morning, Queenie! I’m on my way to get a COFFEE. TEA IS FOR THE WEAK.”
I’m just razzing the domestic royalty. I love tea.
This apartment has been super quiet and calm. I mean, on the inside of it… on the outside… not at all.
11:52 A.M.: Silence —– ice cream truck bells —– gunshot —– silence.
So, I figure, if I capture any questionable rainbow activity, any ghosts living here are clearly the low-drama kind of spirits.
Therefore, they theoretically won’t go crazy and start throwing chairs around once I capture their rainbow essence in a photo.
Of course, that kind of theorizing is not based on any hard data.
Because, theoretically, they could start throwing around chairs because I started ghost hunting as EVERYTHING WAS GOING SO WELL BEFORE I RUINED IT.
Next Tuesday morning, live view of our apartment:
The only other thing that really lit up on my walkabout last night was the blue tarp my husband uses for art projects.
That’s kind of underwhelming. Even I can’t anthropomorphize a tarp.
And then Tarp got upset. 🙄
And, uh, so who died and was wrapped in that tarp? That’s just not a great find, TikTok Reality Ripple effect.
Now I feel like I’ll have to sadly defer to this tarp when out on installations and will look even weirder when in public during the day.
In any case, only Tarp and the queen lit up last night.
Therefore, this morning, I wanted to test the veracity of this rather bullshit study so today the tarp still glowed, Queenie still glowed and… well, I was a little curious about this app’s effect because before my parents died my husband and I had very few material belongings.
Specifically, we didn’t have any furniture.
And now we have a piano and a bunch of other furniture that definitely belonged to dead people.
Who I loved.
So, yeah, I was hoping to find my grandma sitting in a chair.
Or my mom sitting at my piano.
But none of that happened.
Well, my dad’s guitars lit up briefly but, I mean, what am I going to do with that. Carry his guitars around forever?
I ALREADY DO THAT. BEFORE I HAD LESS STUFF AND NOW I HAVE MORE STUFF. Gak! But I can’t get rid of it because it’s ridiculously sentimental.
But no one I know of died in/on any of the furniture I now own. (Except for that tarp maybe 😬).
So this morning, again, I confirmed the tarp and queen and, weirdly, one of my parents’ chairs had some rainbow.
All right. Someone sitting in a chair like a civilized ghost. That’s nice.
And it seemed to be more of a “Day Ghost,” which is also pleasant.
But it kind of looked like a giant face. Like a giant head sculpture.
And then David said, “It’s not like it’s creating a human profile, or a human shape or anything.”
And, as if chair Rainbow Brite heard him, they got up and right in my face.
Another drama ghost. Apparently this apartment is full of them.
I mean, maybe.
These are color blurs. I can’t be freaked out by rainbow blurs.
Of course, that is the chair I was sitting in when my mom died when we lived in the haunted house I talk about in the book. I realized this when I just used the chair to stand on and its distinctive side handle wiggled as it’s loose.
So that’s a little spooky but more sad and, beside, I’m not dead, even if the TikTok effect doesn’t always agree.
The effect shouldn’t pick up physical locations where living people have sat which were close to the physical places where other living people have died.
I mean, if this effect picked up that the entire stock at ReStore and Goodwill would light up like one big rainbow room.
Yeah, that is a day trip idea!
But, for the record, I did make sure no color blur was sitting in the chair before I used it.
Regardless, and as no surprise to anyone, Queenie the Color Blur stays right where she is hung like the debutante she is.
So now I have one more stable allegedly living thing to talk at in this apartment, as well as one more pointless and useless activity to occupy my time…
when I’m a warehouse security guard working the third shift.
The future is Rainbow Brite.