Well… Happy Holidays and half flags…

I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin which has been making headlines lately for terrible reasons. Specifically, a person plowed their SUV through a holiday parade in a Milwaukee suburb, murdering 6 people and hurting over 60 individuals – many in critical condition and hospitalized.

From talking with beloved family members from my three families (husband’s, my mom and my dad’s sides) over the past couple days, members of my family have friends who are now dead and grandchildren who are in comas as a result of that monstrous event. 😣

This horrible evil occurrence happened last Sunday afternoon.

The day after – on Monday – the state governor ordered that flags must be flown at half-mast.

From sun up to sun down, flags were to be flown at half mast.

Tuesday afternoon, the building manager at my work stood in the doorway of our room and asked if we knew the timing of the flag… thing.

On Tuesday. Two days after the event and one day after the order was issued.

First I smirked… but does it matter?

It feels reasonable to hang the flags at half-mast all the time. It’s a small act but one which feels appropriate.

People ask “WHY” this person drove their card through a holiday parade of dancing grannys and children but you can’t look for reason within an act of evil.

There isn’t any “reason” or excuse for such a monstrous act.

HOLY SHIT I THOUGHT THIS BLOG WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY OR SOMETHING

Yeah. I’m writing this in the car on our way back from my hometown at the end of holiday interaction. All of it was lovely but… I’m an introvert who errs on the side of depressive so I feel a little overwhelmed and not intoxicated enough because I don’t drink when I’m feeling emotionally overwhelmed.

In contrast with most people.

Also, things are just… especially difficult lately. All these tragedies and our house closing is in jeopardy and the dog I wanted to adopt was adopted and the shelter keeps asking when they can schedule the home visit and work is crazy and we can’t make the original closing date because we will be in Chicago for work with a crew and the title company doesn’t do evening appointments and I don’t know if I need to reschedule the movers I’ve booked FOR THE FIRST TIME and our car didn’t start this morning and we had to jump it forever because it just was not starting or showing any sign of life and sometimes when you love people so much… it’s too much to process or functionally use… and you never see these people and you feel this gap in your middle and, upon arrival today, my dead dad’s beloved brother just gave me a bag full of photos and a copy of my dead mom’s yearbook which someone found somewhere which was super kind of him/the guy who gave the stuff to my uncle but…

It was a a difficult/extremely touching step to begin on and… it soon led to system overload.

MY PLUTO FEELINGS ARE SHOWING!

So this organism is ready for a shower in the dark.

While typing an earlier draft of this, I heard a car crash happen outside when I was sitting on our couch in our bad neighborhood… just down the block. The squealing of tires and the unmistakable sound of a crash. Metal. And then a

break in sound and then

the squealing of tires again.

On Wednesday, when we were driving to work and crossing the 11th Street bridge, we noticed the recycling center was on fire… again.

It’s always on fire. Google “Milwaukee recycling center fire” and you’ll see that’s a true statement.

But, on last Wednesday morning – below the smoke of the fire – it looked like every police car and fire truck this city has was on scene.

There were even four police cars sitting on the railroad tracks.

I hoped that whoever was driving the trains which are always flying down the tracks was paying more attention than most of the drivers of the cars in Milwaukee.

Our office building is right on the tracks and a block away from the… fire… and we just… stared for a second at the two fire trucks and police cars which sat on the other side of the fence which separated our lot and our building from the train tracks…

and then we walked into our work building but omicats my eye won’t stop twitching…

But I haven’t yet had my shower in the dark. I think a shower and some music in the dark will help me to get some much needed perspective and light the pilot light within.

Hope you’re holding on. And, if life is getting to you too, take one shower in the dark and get some sleep and see how tomorrow feels..

But the real key is to grin and grimace.

But until then…