Yeah, so it’s that really terrible time of year for me. The Death Anniversary time of year… oddly, my family died or were born in the first couple weeks of March.
And my crisis of confidence continues as I was recently told for the nth time I’m “overqualified” and “will leave after a month” if they – the employer – would hire me… as if they know something I don’t.
And I also start my ALS testing next week.
One extroverted acquaintance came up to me a couple years ago and told me I must be cursed:
“Like you must have been a really terrible person in a past life!!!”
I appreciate the sentiment because sometimes it is really what the fuck. But I’ve resigned myself to the belief that I’m being tested and all I have to do is not go evil.
I think I can achieve that.
Evil is the worst.
But what do you do when you’re feeling low and a bit hopeless? Well, personally, I go through my checklist.
✔️ Go outside
Right. So I left the house and…
there was an air quality warning.
Okay… good thing I’m double-masking it now… but whatever.
✔️ Go for a drive
Right. I went for a drive and was almost plowed over by a person going “over the speed limit by a lot” who didn’t stop at the stop sign.
When leaving the house in Milwaukee, it feels like you’re entering a first person-shooter video game. Cars flying at you from all directions. Pedestrians being mowed over on the sidewalk. Hell, in Milwaukee we’ve had two different people drive off the overpass in the last month.
And one of those people wasn’t even drunk.
Okay so…
✔️ Sit in parked car with the windows up
Right. So I did and then noticed our car is still having a mental breakdown but it’s maybe worse…? I say this because I watched it time travel. Its electronic date and time moved from 2011 to 2012 to 2013, and then it even reached last year for the first time in years.
Car also felt it was -40 degrees Fahrenheit when it first started up.
All right. So, well, most of my coping efforts failed but, at the same time, seeing the world be all batshit around me made me feel certain I’m not cursed.
Rather, it’s just that bad out there and everyone is having a hard time, even AI.
Or life always feels this way and it always has been this way and yet it’s somehow still surprising to me.
Which makes little sense because, after all, even Jesus had a pretty terrible run as a human.
What a crazy world this is. This is why I highly recommend composing a coping checklist which, unless you live in Milwaukee, won’t let you down.
Case in point, my final coping attempt to lift my spirits worked.
✔️ Harry Belafonte, every time. 🍹🎶
Yup. Calypso never fails you.
Holding on for yet another week and I hope you’re doing the same. 🖤
Brain Wars!!! 
Wow the drivers in Milwaukee sound pretty terrible, and the weather too. I hope your testing comes back negative. You are such a warrior. I love the passive aggression of Christ. So funny! That guy should sue the road because it had no right to go up when he wasn’t ready.
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Haha yes! 😂
It’s so crazy here! The local police set up another task force to address the horrid driving but… they did that last year too. 😂
Fair warning if you do ever visit old Milwaukee town. 🖤
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Don’t you hate it that you feel like you have to beg prospective employers “puh-LEEZE give me a job so I can prove to you I won’t quit said job!!!” It always seems like such a judgmental stance to take “I can tell by looking at you that you’re too good for this place, so I will save us both the heartache of breaking up”. Crazy. So glad Harry came through for you – he’s the best, isn’t he? Hang in there!
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Right???? Isn’t that the truth????? I absolutely pleaded my heart out this last time and was WAY more forthright about my dire situation. Forget pride. 😂 And…??? But oh Harry! Yes yea yea! 🙌 What can be bad when Harry is singing? 🥰
Thanks so much for the support!! ✊
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**“Like you must have been a really terrible person in a past life!!!”** Gee, you seem like such a nice person…for a former Nazi. (Sheesh.)
“God doesn’t give you more than you can handle,” says almost everybody. It would be just fine if he didn’t have COMPLETE trust in your capability.
As stated previously, my own checklist involves good red wine, mass quantities of decent milk chocolate, baby snuggles if I can finagle them (8 mth old grandson currently providing sterling service), and in extremis, Porcupine Eats Pumpkin videos. (I know none of this is your bag, yet I continue to suggest. What in the world is wrong with me?)
Music? Yes. Depends from moment to moment–Allman Bros. Jessica, currently. Led Zep LOUD almost always. (A young woman who hadn’t known me long gushed, “It’s so cool YOU like music like that!” which still can put a smile on my face. “Little girl, that’s MY music. It’s cool you like it too, but let’s just get that straight.”)
What would you think about pharmacy tech? I ask because, to my personal knowledge, every pharmacist within the contiguous states (at least) is batshit desperate for full time and part time pharmacy techs. Responsible untrained smart cookies (ahem, that be you) interviewed and hired so fast your head would spin. While they, too, will feel concern that you’re overqualified, many are willing to risk it if it means having a good tech for a year or so.
Just thinkin’…
.
.
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PS. If a couple previous unedited comments show up too, I plead wine.
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Stop telling employers about the PhD (you only get in trouble for claiming you have one when you don’t, not the other way around).
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Sigh. I applied for a counseling position because I have a PhD in counseling. 🙁
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