The World Has Lost Its Mind So Don’t Forget to Hollaback

Last week I read the local news headlines for Madison, Wisconsin (I live in Milwaukee which is like Madison on meth) as I apparently long ago signed up to receive these emails and rarely read them and…

I honestly had to sit back on my heels and take a breath.

Because it’s like the entire world has lost its mind.

Locally, here were the Madison headlines from a single day last week:

2 found dead by officers responding to reports of gunshots in Janesville, police say

Juvenile court judge now faces federal child porn charges

26-year-old Middleton man arrested in connection with Beltline shooting that injured 1

Madison police find man on ground in parking lot with gunshot wound

Man arrested for arson in Stoughton laundry fire

Complaint: Man cites evil spirits as reason for starting laundromat fire

And so on…

An ongoing joke here in Milwaukee is how the news doesn’t report all the stuff that is happening here (local news channel TMJ4 likes to focus on craft fairs) but the Madison news sure doesn’t seem to hold anything back.

Local Woman Believes Neighbor Is Devil and Likes Cheesecake

Okay… I made that one up. But DAMN, world!

This is why it’s important to think about what any of us will do in case we find ourselves in a situation that has the potential to hurt/harm/explode when we venture out into the world, especially as we again start to enter public spaces after receiving COVID vaccinations.

For example, two weekends ago I finally had the chance to go out for dinner with a close friend I hadn’t seen in a year and we hadn’t eaten inside a restaurant in a long time either.

So it was a big night for both of us.


Yet, once we arrived at the restaurant (over the COVID quarantine period, my friend had forgotten how to drive any route which wasn’t her exact daily route to work), we had to wait for a table.

This “waiting” then took place in a very small, cramped space which also served as the entry/exit to/from the restaurant which meant that my friend and I were sort of in the way and yet without any way to not be in the way.

My friend and I are both quite tall and loom large over most other humans too so it was kind of funny to see us smashing our giant selves against the wall as small little ant-like creatures tried to pass us below to enter the restaurant.

I guess those ants had reservations.

In any case, we awkwardly “waited”, standing directly to the side of the host station like intimidating gatekeepers to the restaurant just beyond, when a man walked in without a mask.

This was before the CDC lifted the mask ban for the vaccinated but it felt like this guy never really was a huge fan of wearing masks or believing in science or anything.

I’m making an assumption but I’ve seen that wry smirk on other faces and this person was smirking all over the place when the host told him he needed to wear a mask to eat in the restaurant and, if he didn’t have one, they’d give him one.


“Sir, if you refuse to wear a mask, I have to ask you to stand outside as we require masks here.”


Sir, please, if you don’t have a mask, you have to wait outside.”


And then the Maskless Forever man kind of stepped forward which was a very subtle yet extremely defiant move.

It was at this time, in the context of what’s going on world-wide but especially in this country, the situation quickly felt very tense.

The host did the smart thing and didn’t engage further and instead walked away to go do something elsewhere.

So it was then just my friend and I and this maskless guy who did not go outside standing together in a very tiny physical space.

We were so flipping close to this person and the mood was so incredibly tense my friend and I stopped talking though she whispered to me, “He isn’t leaving.”


So, when the host came back, I’m sure he was delighted to see that man still standing there, smirking and maskless.

Now I had been creating a plan of what I’d do if that guy started shooting or threatened the host physically as we all continued to stand there.

I was fully prepared to tackle the host and cover him with my body behind the host station if the uncooperative man started shooting or lunging and, honestly, even if my friend didn’t jump into action, she would still be physically blocking the man’s path because… we were still very much blocking the way.

But my thoughts were interrupted by the man reaching out to accept a mask from the host.

Then he left.

I don’t know why he took a mask to go outside but… whatever.

As soon as the man had exited the building, my friend and I stepped forward as the host turned his body toward us, looking visibly shaken, and said, “It’s not like it’s a personal request or anything, you know? Damn. This is just crazy.

We gushed and said how well he handled the situation and how we would have totally had his back if that person had done anything further.

Since we are giants, and not some petite size-5-shoe-wearing pixies, it felt like a more useful statement.

Like… “Yeah. You really could do some damage.”

He seemed a little relieved to know he had at minimum moral support so we felt we had done the right thing.

In other words, we delayed our assistance.

It’s one of the tips the site iHollaback includes in their “5 Ds” of what one should do when witnessing harassment or any threatening behavior being imposed on another person.

It’s so important to not just stand back and keep silent because we are all in this together.

Even though it may not feel like it,

even though there are plenty of situations where we can’t make a huge impact as individuals… there are plenty where we can.

Sooooooo…. check out these helpful “Bystander Resources” below as they serve as helpful tips we can all use when leaving the house and entering the batshit crazy world outside.

My friend Jesse – Superstar Librarian – sent these to me as he wanted to know how he can help as a white man and these have provided him with some guidance.

But, whatever our race or identity, there is a way to help.

We just have to try when and where we can. 🖤


Because it’s going to take a little work to remember how “Normal Functioning” works.

…no silverware/cutlery but… giant knife? ✔️


I usually end my blog with a song (YouTube video) but this week I feel the songs require a short introduction as they provide another example of how to deal with troublemakers/hateful angry sorts.

Therefore, in case you didn’t know, the first and rather uppity-up song which I’ve chosen to close this week’s blog post was written by Gwen Stefani and produced by Pharrell Williams, both who are in the video, in response to another artist – Courtney Love –

known to be somewhat mean

who had derogatively referred to Stefani as being a “cheerleader” though, if you think about it, when comparing Courtney Love and Gwen Stefani, the latter is definitely the cheerleader of the two.

Not said as an insult… but… anyways… the message being to fight back (act) (with love or with a lot of money and your celebrity friends) and not just talk talk talk.

Though, as you can see in the 5 Ds on the ihollaback site, talking back is at times social action.

Saying that, the Hollaback Girl song is far too chipper for my mood today so it is followed by an excellent Princess Nokia song which also broadly fits the theme of “Be You and Creatively-Wisely Dismantle the Haters”.

Music is medicine and this world is crazy so hold on and do something when you can.



4 thoughts on “The World Has Lost Its Mind So Don’t Forget to Hollaback

  1. I love that Princess Nokia song. She is badass! You are also badass for speaking up to help out the restaurant host dude, but I worry about your personal safety because might will wade into a dangerous situation a little to quickly. I say this because of all the guns down there in the U.S. of A. So please be careful out there. Speak up but don’t put yourself in harm’s way. You are too important. Also I loved the drawing of you and your friend standing in the line-up like giants. So funny!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Awwwwww thank you dear Naomi! And isn’t 👑Nokia the best? 🥰 And, well, with my inability to find work and my search for purpose I’ve decided that I’m good with sacrificing myself for someone else if it comes to it. Because with all the violence, it feels like it’s all I can do. I don’t have kids or even pets I would abandon. I’m free to stand up and take action and save a life if I can. We live in a terrible neighborhood with gunshots daily and men asking me if “I’m working” if I venture outside because this hood is also famous for sex trafficking soooooo… danger at every turn! So I will continue to be careful 😘but I’m probably unable to stand back if I think I can do the right thing. 🤷🏻‍♀️🖤Hugs and love. Thank you!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. “…with gunshots daily and men asking me if “I’m working””

    Ooph. Can it be considered a plus that they’re asking and not just assuming? I wonder if maybe they believe this is polite behavior (their mamas raised ’em right). What would be the polite response to that? Someone ask Miss Manners.

    Just thinkin.’

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah! Well I guess it’s good they asked and didn’t just toss me in their van. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂 still Id like to live somewhere where any person isn’t automatically assumed to be a sex worker… hopefully someday.


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