Lacking the Energy to Rhyme

UGH. Did anyone else wake up just feeling zapped today? As in… extra zapped?

I stayed up “late” (I’m old so “late” is now really not that late at all) watching the Phantom of the Opera 25th Anniversary show on YouTube as it was somehow recommended to me and oh my cats I will never doubt YouTube’s algorithm again because I did not even realize how well I knew all the songs and how emotional I would be, seeing the various performers and…

what the actual fuck. 😳😂

It’s probably empathy as Phantom is also crazy lonely, seemingly also lacking face moisturizer and he probably doesn’t shower as much as he should either.

But my intense reaction to the musical is probably just (groan) hormones as I used to make fun of my mom for crying at anything and here I now am, forty years old, and just feeling genuinely moved by the way the TV is looking at me right now.

But whatever. I then slept in which is… 8AM because I’m old and can’t sleep late anymore and just woke up feeling… completely drained of energy and will.

That doesn’t hurt at all so it’s no big deal. And I would say, “Oh, that’s just a common case of depression” but it’s not clinical and it’s probably just cancer but I won’t know because all tests are suspended because the global pandemic/war/crisis. #PMA

Yet, we left the house today to slowly do a birthday-drive-by in front of our friends’ house because it is the birthday of one of their adorable kids and… it feels great to toss balloons out a window and to honk and scream and blow kisses at loved ones but… damn. I miss physically interacting with my humans.

And I’m not even alone! I have my dear husband who is classified as One of My Humans. But I suppose I miss variation in humans.

But that’s easily cured. Because, once I leave the house and interact with various people on the road, I immediately stop missing humans once again.

But the loneliness lingers so I am befriending inanimate objects in our home at a much faster rate than normal.

I’m an only child so, no matter how many neighborhood friends or school friends I had, I spent an insane amount of time by myself.

So you’d think I’d be good at being alone but even I, eventually, over a long expanse of time, start to miss other living organisms.

I would very much like to have some kind of pet but our landlord doesn’t allow pets which is why the TV has moved up the friend ranks.

And there is Zoom and social media but… talking to a screen just isn’t the same.

But loneliness and lacking the energy to rhyme is small potatoes and, by the look of the news, I feel very grateful to be indoors and enclosed in a physical space.

I also appreciate how we live in a bad neighborhood so anyone with a gun over here is not concerned with “opening things back up” because they always sold drugs curbside.