I remembered when I told my dad he had colon cancer. The surgeon couldn’t wait for my dad to wake up from the sedation so he handed me the photographs and charts. The surgeon had places to be, after all, and my dad hadn’t slept well in probably years so we all just let him […]
Tag: dying
I Just Got Used to the Witches
Big picture, making the decision to keep or sell my dad’s Badger football season tickets after he died shouldn’t have been a big deal. Yet, navigating grief is a lot like that scene from The Jerk where Steve Martin’s character says he doesn’t need anyone or anything. My dad’s Badgers seats are a lot like […]
The Darkness
There are some nights – tonight and last night – where I think “I’m just going to bed. This day has felt too terrible too long and it simply needs to end. Here’s to tomorrow.” But then tomorrow comes. And it feels the same. My fucking IUD removal (or Mirena crash which many doctors deny) […]
What Do You See?
This post is about death, grief, loss, unexplained happenings and also murals… Fair warning and, if you’re here for the murals, just scroll down to the end. The Context/Background So I wrote a ghostly storybook ⬇️ And in this book I summarize all the scary, unexplained and sometimes magical stuff which happened when my husband […]
Brain Update: To Fall or Not to Fall
“Are you afraid of falling?” “No.” The neurological specialist nodded thoughtfully and I redirected my thoughts to reflect on how “Stephen Hawking” fell a lot in the beginning of the movie The Theory of Everything. ☹️ The reason for this rant is how I went to the dreaded appointment with an ALS specialist because I […]
All Lab Rats Go To Heaven: An Epileptic Puts Her Foot Down
2020 has not been easy for anyone. After all, even those investors and tech CEOs who made a shit ton of money in 2020 off the public health crisis like war profiteers couldn’t just roll down to their local to get a beer or bottle of Cristal without assuming some risk. Tough times for us […]
SYSTEM ALERT: Is What Happened to My Mom Going To Happen To Meeeeeeeeee?
Why have a blog if you can’t use it to openly discuss the potential manifestation of your absolute worst fear? 😺 Yeah. This is the blog post I really avoided writing and here it is. In this post I’ve tried to bedazzle my worst fear and all my fretting and freaking out with pictures and […]
When You Get the Results You Really Really Really Didn’t Want
For those of you reading this, I want to thank you for being a small audience for my survival memoir writing. In contrast to social media, having a blog is like having an audience who mostly want to be there. I’m sure a few of you just logged off because you’re all ohshit I can’t […]
Sometimes You Just Have to Take a Day or Two
Amiright?😺 And if that doesn’t fix what’s wrong you need to move to more extreme actions. I’m currently in between the two stages. And, as long as I’m asking questions, I’ll also query: does anyone else feel like they’re living two lives at once? When I hear the phrase “two lives at once” I first […]
Looking for a Good time? Me Too.
Wellity. Got my MRI results. Ugh… lots of white matter lesions 😬 BUT there aren’t any more lesions than there were in 2015, when I had my last brain scan. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo… I received the nicest call from my new neurologist’s nurse who I speak to almost daily and… well, it’s comforting that we don’t know […]
Rainbow Ghosts Everywhere
Well, I’m writing this on Sunday morning. Today I was woken by fireworks at 7 A.M. as they tend to start later on Sunday mornings which is appreciated. Earlier, I woke at my unnaturally early “dawn time” and felt “hell no” because extra sleep time was needed as last night I was disproportionately exhausted because […]
The Beyond
On the first night we viewed and then signed the papers to buy our Madison house, it felt haunted. When I went upstairs to turn off the hallway light, I felt the air thicken and move around me in an unnatural way. Thrilled, I ran downstairs, delighted that we were going to buy a haunted […]
The Outsiders
Our house activity climaxed with my beloved mom’s fight to defy death in her final months battling frontotemporal degeneration (FTD). New things started to happen which didn’t seem particularly paranormal as they involved tangible, organic creatures who were simply behaving oddly. Specifically, the animals started to mobilize. By this point, we had lived in our […]
Someone Never Stopped Coming Home
While it was still just David, Hemi Monster and I, our house, the first and only house for which we made mortgage payments, still felt busy. Even when any of us were by ourselves, we were never truly alone. That can be comforting and it can also be terrifying. On one afternoon, it was more […]
Brain Wars!!! 