My dear Bird Best Friend made me a feature item for my “desk” at work. I asked her to make me one because it reminds me of exactly how I feel in my new job as a state social worker: Crazed Overwhelmed Trying desperately to do good and spread joy and wellness but… I will […]
Tag: neurology
Nuclear war?
We live in a globalized world. What’s happening to a country on the other side of the world affects the lives of those living in countries on the opposite side of the world. While bombs aren’t falling on my head, seeing them fall on civilians in Ukraine is nauseating and feels super close somehow. I […]
The Revelations/Revolutions of June
There’s those days of self-pity where you just have to crash out Les Misérables’ I Dreamed a Dream on the piano and make your dog serve as unwilling witness. Speaking of the dog, June Carter Cash has just started eating on her own. This is a revelation. I came home from work late one night […]
To Mastiff or Not To Mastiff
My epilepsy is stretching… Uh-oh. The fact that I’m aware of it stirring is alarming because it’s difficult to do under the cloud of medication I take to keep it still so, when I can sense its movement… I used to tell friends I was “happy” about having epilepsy because it served as a kind […]
My Own Private Shit Show: The Art of Coping
This week’s blog is focused on the events of my daily life and how I’m using perspective to prevent them from driving me completely insane. Letting Your Car Go We paid off our car. Which means we’ve given it permission to completely fall apart. You’re free, Marshmallow. While a mechanic was trying to figure out […]
The Darkness
There are some nights – tonight and last night – where I think “I’m just going to bed. This day has felt too terrible too long and it simply needs to end. Here’s to tomorrow.” But then tomorrow comes. And it feels the same. My fucking IUD removal (or Mirena crash which many doctors deny) […]
When Words Don’t Cover It,1990’s Microsoft Paint Can
Words fail. That kind of thinking is detrimental for a blog. In any case, I think my logistics job is affecting my not-job-related memory, soul and verbal speech… or else… it’s not the super stressful job and, rather, the FTD/ALS is kicking in. I hope not because my job does not offer health insurance, and […]
Epilepsy, 3 Hospitals, 7 Vials of Blood and a Key Lime Martini
So… how was your Monday? 😺 Mine turned out to be a Big Day. Now in this odd little blog, I tell a lot of random stories. But lately I’ve strayed away from my health issues (epilepsy etal.) because I’ve been enjoying a blissful break from hospitals. Yet, this all changed Monday and now you’re […]
Stigma: Epilepsy, Mental Illness and the Same Old Treatment
Reality is a fickle thing. If you don’t share the reality most others share, life is more difficult. Some people run with their “outsider” status and others fight to change and expand how their reality is seen and experienced. And still others do what they can to hide their different reality and quietly assimilate with […]
The Fantastic Curse of Epilepsy
I recently had the pleasure of reading a friend’s poetry memoir regarding his experiences with epilepsy. He supplements his poetic verse with evocative photographs, and it’s creative, honest, authentic and thought-provoking. Since he’s the second person I’ve recently read about who has broken their jaw (or general “face area”) in a seizure, it made me […]
Monday: Electrodes, Needles, Nerves, Static, a Bed and Four Men and an Epileptic Crammed in a Tiny Room
I’m not going to lie. That 👆 sounds like a very messed up porn. Gross. Which is why I don’t feel a lot of people could do an EMG test. Because if you’re not “good with” needles, or have an issue with claustrophobia or with being electrocuted, or being essentially naked on a bed in […]
Brain Update: To Fall or Not to Fall
“Are you afraid of falling?” “No.” The neurological specialist nodded thoughtfully and I redirected my thoughts to reflect on how “Stephen Hawking” fell a lot in the beginning of the movie The Theory of Everything. ☹️ The reason for this rant is how I went to the dreaded appointment with an ALS specialist because I […]
All Lab Rats Go To Heaven: An Epileptic Puts Her Foot Down
2020 has not been easy for anyone. After all, even those investors and tech CEOs who made a shit ton of money in 2020 off the public health crisis like war profiteers couldn’t just roll down to their local to get a beer or bottle of Cristal without assuming some risk. Tough times for us […]
When You Get the Results You Really Really Really Didn’t Want
For those of you reading this, I want to thank you for being a small audience for my survival memoir writing. In contrast to social media, having a blog is like having an audience who mostly want to be there. I’m sure a few of you just logged off because you’re all ohshit I can’t […]
Sometimes You Just Have to Take a Day or Two
Amiright?😺 And if that doesn’t fix what’s wrong you need to move to more extreme actions. I’m currently in between the two stages. And, as long as I’m asking questions, I’ll also query: does anyone else feel like they’re living two lives at once? When I hear the phrase “two lives at once” I first […]
Latest EEG Produced “Unexpected” Results
I started this blog last spring after experiencing my first ambulatory 72 hour EEG. Accordingly, this entry provides some updates for the health tests I’ve discussed here in previous posts and also includes my proposed take-it-into-my-own-hands solution. In addition, it presents a reminder that you never know what you’re going to get when trying new […]
Halloween in September and Improving My Street Cred
I have found the best pharmacy. And that isn’t street/code for anything… I mean I have genuinely found the best pharmacy. You know you’re old and/or sickly when you regard this as a major achievement. Maybe I’m so excited about my new pharmacy because I had such a terrible pharmacy before… so it’s relative. My […]
Detached: Why This Epileptic Will Never Again Do Another Ambulatory EEG
Right. So I’ve had epilepsy since I was 12. That last sentence makes it sound like going from “no epilepsy” to “epilepsy” was a smooth transition… it was not. In any case, as an epileptic (who hid her epilepsy for twenty-five years out of fear of people’s rampant inability to cope with fear and who […]
When Life Gives You Lemons You Smile and Say “Thanks I Hate You Sometimes You’re a Jerk”
Right. With everything that has happened and which is actively happening, it seems my weak body is simply giving up. And my mind is absolutely disgusted with it. Watching “The Greatest Events of World War II in Color” on Netflix not only gives me the chills because we can explicitly see history repeating itself in […]
Brain Scans and Your Average Medical Male Monster
Holy cats. This blog post focuses on the monster who was my former neurologist and THE MONSTER CALLED ME WHEN I WAS WRITING THE FIRST DRAFT. Therefore, I have some LIVE ACTION news in this blog post. Exciting! But I’m getting ahead of myself. Right. So I’m an epileptic. Been epileptic since I was twelve. […]
Brain Wars!!! 